I've been stuck at losing 24-28 lbs all through February, and I lost motivation, had a team upset with one of my groups, and just had some personal things going on that kept me a little lacking on the side of my exercise routine, although I stayed pretty much in the right ranges with my calorie intake. I've been fully "on" for about a week and a half now and finally broke through that plateau.

Last Week-- 266
This Week-- 261.5

In my weight loss journey so far, I finally reached the 30 lb mark this week! Yay!

On another note, I tried the Biggest Loser Max Cardio DVD today and it's good! I'm really liking it. I absolutely love Bob Harper and found myself screaming at him through the television. It was kind of a funny moment for me because I always laugh when Hubby screams at the football games, and here I was screaming at Bob Harper to keep counting and release me from these power holds. My legs were burning! :) The moves were pretty easy to handle, but it was still kicking my booty! I'm glad I was able to keep up and burned 363 calories in just over an hour. I was a sweaty mess afterward, but it felt good. 

During my workout, my doctor called with lab results. On that note, all of my labs came back in the normal range... that means no diabetes, no abnormal thyroid, and good cholesterol and triglycerides. I was semi-borderline before, but the levels have completely dropped and are very normal. Did you hear that? I said I was normal. Yeah! :)

Good afternoon! And what a great one it is!

I weighed in today and finally met my 30 lb weight loss marker, and then some. I'm down 31 lbs today. This just goes to show (and don't tell my hubby) that eating at home and exercise are what is needed. Of course I can eat out, too, and I'm dying for Red Lobster's garlic-grilled shrimp. At 60 calories a skewer, that's amazing! I just recently started eating some seafood so this is great, and I found that I don't like it with butter so that makes it even more healthy.

So, I was talking to my grandmother this morning and she started asking me how I was. I told her about losing the weight. See, I tried initially just to keep my family in the dark. I mean, they don't live near me and it's not all that hard to do, but it really was about the years and years of them hounding me about my weight. Even when I would lose weight, it seemed that someone out of the mix would make sure to comment how I just needed to lose more in order for me to look good. That's hurtful, and I think that I'd rather just do this all on my own and then just say, "Surprise!" So it's sort of nice to give an update about it, but what was funny was that the first thing my grandma said, was "Well how are you doing it? What are you on?" This cracked me up. I don't have to be on anything to lose weight, and that's the beauty of this! I told her I was doing it the old-fashioned way.. you know, eat healthy, exercise.. that sort of thing? Man that felt good! I'm loving this new life.

Now, if I can only get out there to go hiking. That was my plan this weekend, but hubby had to take the van to work and that left me with the motorcycle. I guess it was too cold yesterday, or the bike didn't want me to go, because it would not start for me. Hubby came home and it started right up. I was thinking, "It would for you." He laughed at me. I've been avoiding grading so far this weekend so right now it seems like a toss up between getting out of the house and moving a little, or sitting  here and grading more papers. I'm thinking I need to find some warm clothes because hopping on the motorcycle is gonna be a little cold.

I wonder how much water is too much. I've always heard that one should drink so much water every day, but how much is enough and is there such a thing as too much? I can successfully say that for the past 2 months, I've been drinking a lot of water. Shamefully, there were days before my new journey that I didn't drink any water at all. Yet, I also never really thought about being able to drink flavored waters and have it count as my water intake. The thought now seems silly as to why I didn't count it. For instance. I love tea, especially sweet tea. Instead of putting sugar into it, I use a no cal sweetener and add extra lemons. This is my preferred drink actually. I also like Crystal Light lemonade and fruit punch as well as several Mio flavors. They work well most of the time. When I've been working out, I tend to drink plain water. That's when it is the most satisfying to me. In fact, when I do my hour + dancing routine on Kinect, I keep two bottles of water on the table because I have to drink to keep going.

I also prefer room-temp water, which many think is a little strange. I always wondered if it made a difference. I remember reading somewhere that it did, but I haven't taken much time to really research this or what the deal was with it.

So check this out.. I found this hydration calculator.

These were my results:

Daily Hydration Calculator Results

A person who is 266 pounds
and is exercising for 60 minutes ,
is not pregnant,
is not breastfeeding,
does not live at a high altitude,
does not live in a dry climate,
drinks 0 alcoholic drink(s),
when the weather is not very hot or very cold,
and is not sick with fever or diarrhea should have:
139 ounces of water today, or 4.2 liters.

If you eat a healthy diet, about 20 percent of your water may come from the foods you eat. If you eat a healthy diet you can drink 111.2 ounces of water today, or 3.3 liters.

http://nutrition.about.com/library/bl_water_calculator_results.htm?start=1&pounds_100=200&pounds_10=60&pounds=6&minutes=60&preg=0&breast=0&alt=0&dessert=0&alc=0&col=0&sick=NaN&sick=0&page=9

I think this seems considerably off. The Mayo Clinic suggests that females should drink 2.2L as opposed to the 4.2 the other one said (Mayo, 2012).  On the other hand, an article on Livestrong suggests 32 oz per 50 lbs of body weight (McAdams, 2010). Should I just call it an even 100 oz and shoot for that?

About My Day

Today was fairly uneventful, except that my moods have been up and down. I've been really happy as I read and participate on the Lose It forums, as well as with my friends' posts there. I was also having a pretty good day, and I strangely felt full all day. I worked out shortly on the Wii this morning, and then hubby suggested we go shooting. We usually have a tradition that if we go shooting, then we'll go by this restaurant. Today... eh. I don't know. I didn't really want to go because I just felt full. My stomach was rumbling a little as we were shooting so maybe I was psyching myself out. We ended up going anyway, and I was proud that I had a salad without the dressing, and skipped the bread. They gave us two free cookies, so I had one and skipped the other. Hey, I'm not perfect now.

But... that's sort of my problem. I'll go along and do well, but then I end up rewarding myself with more food. Oh.. you did so well just eating that salad. Now, here's a cookie. I wonder when it's going to get in my head that I'm completely changing the way I think about food. This has been a very hard thing for me because for years, me and hubby would go out to dinner, and that was our entertainment for the night. That's what we did.. well.. still do. I've added more events to my norm, but we still enjoy going out to dinner. This means that I have to be very cautious about what I am eating, but I'm learning to recognize and research calories in foods. Surprisingly, there is a lot of information about nutrition online. Gotta love the iPhone. I don't think servers like it too much when I delay my ordering while I try to decide. I've gotten to where if we go, I'll look it up beforehand, but that doesn't always work when it's not planned out.

I did have some good news. I went by the bike place, and sat on a 13 in frame. This is the shortest frame available for women, and it fit! My feet were not flat on the ground, but the person assisting me was explaining that they do not have to be completely flat, and also that if they were, it could jeopardize the right angle on my pedaling. This is what I've been noticing with trying out the girls' 24 in bikes. It's short enough that I can reach the ground, but when I pedal, I feel like there's a kink in my stride. It wasn't comfortable, and I knew that something was not right with it so I guess this is why I've held off on buying something. I liked the way the bike today felt, but of course it was $600. After not riding a bike for 12 years, I don't think that my first one will have me dropping that amount just yet. Not that I am already sabotaging my bike-riding days, but I just want to get something sort of low-key for now and see how much I like it. This mindset has me questioning whether to just buy a cheap $100 bike or this other one I found for $300. This one was similar to the nicer ones I've looked at, is still a hybrid like everyone's been recommending, and it has gotten away from the normal, commercial sizing so I believe it will do me some good for several years. Anyway, it's one that I found at Dick's Sporting Goods. It felt really good when I sat on it and I didn't feel cramped. I wish that I could have just pedaled around in the store, but yea... can't do that! Anyway, so far.. I think that's the one I am leaning toward. I wish it was a different color, but that's all right.. I can deal with white and green.They have a really pretty blue one, but it doesn't come in the x-small frame. Bummer.

Is it crazy that I'm starting to panic about actually riding it on the street? I tend to panic when approaching something that's brand-new to me. I'll be like the old lady on her bike that's pedaling in the middle of the road, going so slow, and having a long line of cars behind her. Ha. Nah... maybe I won't be that bad.. but then again, maybe I will. Tehehe.

I am feeling well today! I soaked in a tub with Epsom salts and I think it really helped me to relax. I've been having trouble with my arms, and especially this sharp pain in both shoulders. I honestly think that it's related to carpel tunnel and me working online so much. I spend much of my time typing or sitting here with my laptop, and I have noticed that most of my problems occur after a long day online. I've run a few searches, and most of the people online that have those problems seem to also have the same type of environment of working online and on a computer. Damn technology.

Anyway.. so I started my day off right with a little workout. I worked out on the Wii. I always feel like I'm letting my little Wii Board man down if I just use him to weigh in without actually working out. I did super hula several times, and beat my personal score. I was on a roll.

Other than that, I've been super emotional lately. It sucks when hormones are out of whack. There was a movie on television, and it made me start bawling. I guess crying is good every once in awhile, but it's still a little embarrassing. Sometimes I feel like such a blubbering mess.

I'm still searching for a bike, although I've had trouble finding something that is comfortable with my short stature. I really want to start riding, and explore the lovely outdoors here in Virginia Beach. It seems that there are so many things to do outdoors, and I've been trying to figure out if I want to invest in roller skates or a bicycle. It was roller blades, but I realized that my calves are too large to wear normal boots so they wouldn't work, either. I was always better on normal quad skates anyway, but I need to research some more on the best ones for street-riding. There's a great boardwalk here, and it would be perfect for skates, walking, or a bike. One of my Lose It friends suggested a trek hybrid. Me and hubby are planning on going tomorrow to this bike shop so I can discuss my height issue with them and try to find something that would work well.

Now I'm feeling a little tired and zapped, although I haven't done much today and I got a pretty good night's sleep. I've been reading the latest Alex Cross book so part of me just wants to cuddle up under my zebra blanket with my Kindle for a nice read. I should probably eat something, though. I have a habit of not eating throughout the day, and I already know all of the problems with that. Sometimes it just feels better to avoid food altogether, although this new lifestyle is geared toward finding the right types of food to eat, which requires that I consciously make an effort to eat something. 

Initial Start- Ramblings

My name is Laurie... my family mostly calls me Laurie Beth. I am here because I am a writer, and writing usually makes me feel more constructive. I am on this journey to drastically change my life. I have basically been a bigger girl all of my life. I've obviously had tons of excuses because in my 30 years of life, I have yet to gain control over it. I am from Texas, and that is my first excuse. Everyone is bigger in Texas, and boy people surely like to comment on that after meeting me for the first time. Yet, all excuses aside, I am here because I choose to be here. When a person is overweight, they are very conscious of their size. If they weren't, there are surely five or ten others that go out of their way to make sure that they are aware. I think family is the worst. It isn't that they are trying to bring one down. They mean well. They really do, but they feel obligated to mention it, at least two or three times during a visit. They might even try to put you on a diet with how they feed you when you do visit. Boy is that funny.

I'm not sure if people really believe what they say, however. I have always heard these same blanket statements, in some form or another.

"You have to make an active choice." 

"When you want to change, you'll do it." 

"No one can make you change; you have to want it and do it yourself."

If they truly believed it, they wouldn't tell me how I should do this or that so often, and they would let me just figure it out on my own. This is how I think about it anyway. After avoiding those types of conversations, I have finally come to terms with it. I can do this. I'm strong enough. I will do this because I want to do it. I want to change. It's not for someone else. It's not because I want someone to like me or I that my family expects anything out of me. I'm pretty sure they lost all hope for me being thin a long time ago. These are things that I tell myself all of the time. 

Now, like anyone, there was definitely a catalyst for wanting to change, but I do not think it was any one specific thing. More or less, everything just started to build up, like with my rainbow of excuses and negative experiences that bounce around my head at any given moment. I don't fit well in my clothes and I haven't shopped at a normal store in such a long time that I wouldn't even know what that feels like. I am severely limited on finding something that I feel makes me look good and feel sexy. My husband engaged in picking out a full-body suit girdle for me just before Christmas. I had to force the tears from coming until he stepped out of the dressing room. Clothes are not only harder to find, but they are more expensive. It's always a toss-up on which airplane seat belts will fit, and which flight attendant will give me two seconds of their time to bring me an extender so that if the plane does go down, I can say that I stayed in my seat because of the seatbelt and not because of my fat. I'm not being hired for the jobs that I am educated to perform. This isn't completely about my weight, but I know that weight plays a part in my interviews. I'm fat, not stupid. I have also struggled with infertility and other underlying medical issues, that happen to also cause obesity. Yippee me, but that's okay. I like a challenge and I'm going to prove to myself and God, because those are the only two people that matter in this self-preserving journey, that I can do this. My self-esteem, obviously, has suffered. There are many times that I feel confident and sexy and I don't let things get to me. But then there are other times when I'm an emotional mess. I blame my crazy hormones for that, and maybe my mother, just a little bit. I don't talk much about her, or at least I try not to, since she made it crystal clear she did not want to be a mother (to me anyway) anymore. There are all sorts of other reasons, like the fact that I am usually not comfortable sitting in a booth, I am already vertically-challenged and the weight just takes away those few extra inches I need for other things to fit well, and those mean employees at lingerie stores that are only nice when my hubby takes me in there. It probably has more to do with the fact that he's going to spend some money on me, but it's completely ridiculous to me when I think about the treatment I get when I am alone. Actually, the last time I walked through this one particular store, there were two female workers and they talked to each other until other people came into the store. They greeted them and were overly friendly while assisting with their purchases. Do they think that fat is contagious or something? Haven't we already established that it's a me thing, and I'll get better when I decide to do it.. yada yada? I guess they didn't get that memo. Oh right. Those only go out to fat people.

So... regardless of all of the excuses and my past experiences, I have come to terms with everything. I am not looking to live riddled with excuses or whining about how I cannot do something. I know I can do it. I'm freaking Super Woman, when I want to be. The great thing is that I learn well from experiences, and instead of taking all the bad life throws at me, I am using it to fuel my fire. 

Here's to me feeding my soul, and using my soles get moving, be more active, and make healthier choices. This is a long journey, and one that I had to initiate on my own, but it is worth it. 

This is my journey for a new weigh. 

Here are a few pictures of me over the last couple of years. 

October 2010

April 2011 with my Dad and Grandpa

I started out my journey in December of 2011 weighing a whopping 292 lbs. My initial goal is to lose half my weight. With my height, I should truly be a half-pint. My Wii Fit board says that I should weigh 116.6 for my height and build, but considering that I haven't weighed 140 since the sixth grade, I'm going to shoot for that number for my initial long-term goal. 

My short-term goals: 

1. I plan to be down to 235 by June 7, 2012. This will be my nine-year anniversary and that was my wedding weight. I would like to match it as my last single digit year. 

2. By June 7, 2013, I want to be down to my goal weight and planning a snazzy renewal of wedding vows. I have the dress picked out already! 

Here are the before and after pics for one month into my journey.

 

This is me now. I currently weigh about 265 lbs.  

February 2012

I'm getting there. This month has been tough, with fluctuations, cravings, and not as high motivation combined with some extra pain here and there. I'll get there and continue posting pics along my journey.